開(kāi)場(chǎng)白
By Way of Introduction

上文提到，此書(shū)原本只是寫(xiě)給兒子的（憶舊筆記兼漢語(yǔ)泛讀），后來(lái)打算出版。因此我得想想：還有哪些朋友可能會(huì)想讀、愛(ài)讀，并從中獲益？Initially, this book was intended as a ‘familial memory’. Its secondary function, as an instructive reader for my son, was an afterthought. Now that I've decided to have it published for wider circulation, a question has come up: Who else would be reading it, and could potentially benefit from it? 三思后發(fā)覺(jué)目標(biāo)讀者群難以框定，亦似無(wú)需框定，大致包括學(xué)英語(yǔ)學(xué)翻譯的中國(guó)人，也不排除母語(yǔ)為英語(yǔ)、正在學(xué)漢語(yǔ)的老外，從事翻譯工作或有志于翻譯事業(yè)的，或許也可以從中找到一些靈感和啟發(fā)。當(dāng)然，若有志同道合愛(ài)貓愛(ài)狗、兼愛(ài)飛禽走獸之人，茶余飯后捧讀此書(shū)覺(jué)得有消遣之效，那也算是歪打正著。To set a range of rigid parameters with which to define the book's target readership would be challenging, and perhaps unnecessary. Chinese readers who are studying English may find it ‘useful’. The same goes for foreign students of the Chinese language whose default medium of thinking is English. You are a translator or interpreter? Or training to be one? It may turn a few lights on for you so you can access some overlooked angles. Others may pick it up for leisure reading if the topics appeal to them and/or they find it entertaining to compare notes with another pet owner, although I'd be very surprised, and rather upset, if this book ended up on the pets and vets shelf.

雖說(shuō)是雙語(yǔ)創(chuàng)作，中英文卻并非亦步亦趨、機(jī)械對(duì)應(yīng)。兩種文本就像記憶的鐘聲，激蕩在相向的回音壁上，它們是呼應(yīng)關(guān)系，相輔相成，卻不一定如出一轍。This is a bilingual book, but it's not one in which Chinese and English texts track each other in lockstep in perfect symmetry. The parallel texts are resonant chimes from the bell toll of my memory bouncing off opposite walls: They do not so much mirror and mimic as echo and complement each other. 說(shuō)實(shí)話，權(quán)威翻譯教科書(shū)汗牛充棟，我憑疏才淺學(xué)，試圖擠進(jìn)人才濟(jì)濟(jì)的學(xué)術(shù)殿堂，無(wú)異于以一粟投滄海、以一葦渡浩波。Let's face it: There is already a plethora of how-to's - instructive works of authoritative standing - in this profession. I am honoured to bask in reflected glory through my association with some of their authors, but I would not hesitate to call myself an impostor if I presumed to be part of that glory, for I am neither equipped nor ready to do so. 故而本書(shū)絕非漢譯英實(shí)例匯編，其標(biāo)新立異之處，恰恰在于筆者創(chuàng)作時(shí)，不是先用某一種語(yǔ)言構(gòu)思、筆錄，再轉(zhuǎn)譯成另一種語(yǔ)言，而是用兩種語(yǔ)言分別獨(dú)立構(gòu)思、獨(dú)立筆錄，相向而行，所謂“一事兩說(shuō)”也。It is therefore not my intention for this to be a conventional textbook, to show how I translate between two languages, which would entail mentally formulating the story in either of the two languages first, writing it down in that language and subsequently converting the writing to the other language. Rather, this book differentiates itself by attempting to tell one story in two languages, with the author putting on the Chinese hat and the English hat alternately. Yes, a bilingual storyteller - that's me. 這樣既可以避免程式化翻譯的僵硬，還能潛移默化，幫助學(xué)生養(yǎng)成用外語(yǔ)思考的習(xí)慣，擺脫母語(yǔ)的干擾，達(dá)事半功倍之效。筆者希望借助此書(shū)，讀者能更加自如地適用兩種語(yǔ)言中的任何一種去思考并表達(dá)，不再需要先用母語(yǔ)思考，然后在腦海中翻譯成英語(yǔ)再說(shuō)出來(lái)。This format, I believe, lends itself to greater fluidity, so it reads better in both languages. An added bonus that comes with this style is its potential to help students develop the habit of thinking directly in their non-native language, independently of their mother tongue. Hopefully, reading this book can help ease you into this dual-track mode where you can formulate what you wish to say in the language that you are going to say it in, obviating the need for mental translation. 為此，筆者思緒行云流水，中英文意群交替，隨想隨錄，一氣呵成，事后不作次序調(diào)整，以保留口述軼事之流暢感。不過(guò)，為了避免版面過(guò)于凌亂，一律中文先行，英文隨后，盡管最先闖進(jìn)腦海的語(yǔ)言可能是英文，不一定是中文。To that end, you will be reading the passages in the same order as I wrote them: one or more sentences in Chinese followed by one or more in English. This order, where Chinese sits in front of English on the tandem bike, so to speak, is in the interest of readability, but the language in which a thought was first formulated could have been either of them. To maintain the flow of the narrative that characterises verbal storytelling, continuity of thought was prioritised and faithfully reproduced, with no post hoc reordering whatsoever. 當(dāng)然，所謂“獨(dú)立”表述，也不是絕對(duì)的，如果回憶的畫(huà)面在腦海里先以漢語(yǔ)化為文字，那么下一個(gè)瞬間的英語(yǔ)復(fù)述，難免不受到漢語(yǔ)的影響，如“影”隨“形”，反之亦然，因此翻譯成分不可謂無(wú)。Be that as it may, that each story is related in two languages separately does not preclude an element of translation in its conventional sense, owing to sequentiality: The first language, be it Chinese or English, in which a certain graphical memory is converted into a lexical representation in my head is comparable to a boat that sets sail first; the other language, in which the same story is retold in the next instant, is another boat trailing along in the first boat's wake.

既然筆者的初衷是寫(xiě)一本話題輕松的軼事集，不是嚴(yán)格意義上的教科書(shū)，那么在遣詞造句方面，也就沒(méi)有刻意雕琢出教科書(shū)的范兒。Since this is more a storybook marked by levity than a strait-laced, straight-faced textbook per se, I have not strived, much less contrived, to craft the language in a way that imparts a pedagogical halo to my writing. 不過(guò)，話說(shuō)回來(lái)，對(duì)于學(xué)語(yǔ)言的學(xué)生而言，這本書(shū)不能噱頭有余，干貨不足，所以我特意注入一些養(yǎng)分，埋下一些彩蛋，譬如針對(duì)漢語(yǔ)成語(yǔ)、英語(yǔ)句型和同義詞的使用，本書(shū)將大量實(shí)例有機(jī)地融入故事的敘述中，達(dá)到不解而解、無(wú)師自通的目的，卻又避免舍本逐末、一味堆砌。That said, I would hate to hear language students complaining about my book being all show and no substance in an academic sense. I have seen to it that this book does serve up an abundance of linguistic goodies. These Easter Bunny treats include, among others, a generous helping of examples to illustrate how to use, in context, etymologically interesting canned phrases in Chinese（chengyu）and how the English language's highly serviceable syntactic malleability and deliciously rich synonymity can be exploited, not to dress up the narrative to the nines, but to liven it up.

鑒于本書(shū)的兩類讀者（學(xué)英語(yǔ)的中國(guó)人和英語(yǔ)國(guó)家學(xué)漢語(yǔ)的學(xué)生）需求不同，本書(shū)中文和英文的“語(yǔ)域”似乎不合拍，中文部分以平鋪直敘為主，英文部分時(shí)不時(shí)會(huì)來(lái)點(diǎn)文縐縐的描述或抒懷。In view of the disparate needs of the two segments of the book's potential readership（namely, Chinese-speaking students of English and English-speaking students of Chinese）, there is an observable ‘incongruity’- for want of a better word - between the registers of the Chinese text and of the corresponding English text, the former tending towards linear oral narration and the latter frequently peppered with rhetorical devices, i.e. anomalous spikes on an otherwise nuanced curve of discourse. 但這種文體的差異并非刻意為之，而是“原生態(tài)”的，完全符合筆者用這兩種語(yǔ)言講故事的一貫風(fēng)格。But this doesn't mean I have had to bend or twist my preferred style of storytelling. In fact, this apparent disparity in register is native to my habit as a bilingual raconteur.

開(kāi)場(chǎng)白多啰嗦幾句，為的是讓讀者了解我的良苦用心。好了，話癆季就此打住，請(qǐng)諸君聽(tīng)故事吧。Okay, enough of my preambular spiel, which I deem to be a necessary evil. I don't know about you, but I, for one, am glad it's over. Phew! This is where the story begins.